Dreaming again

Do you ever dream that you are waking up? Sometimes, in the morning, when I need to get up but can't yet, I'll start to dream that I am waking up, getting out of bed, and going into the bathroom. But then I'll realized that the bathroom that I am in is very different from the real bathroom in my apartment. So I'll try it again. I'll get up, walk into the bathroom...no, still not right. When I slept in a loft bed I would be convinced that this time I really was getting up, going down the ladder, I could see each step, feel my body moving. But then I'd get to the bathroom, and it just wouldn't be right. I'd have to start all over. Sometimes I'll go through this 8 or 10 times before I really do wake up.

I reminds me of a nightmare I used to have as a kid, where I'd be in this huge house with lots and lots of rooms. I was lost and scared. So, I'd start to look for my parents room. "I just need to go up the stairs, to the end of the hall, the door on the left," I'd think. I wanted to wake up and really go to my parent's room, but instead I'd just try to go to it in the dream. It was the same helpless feeling, where I was trying so hard to really do something, knowing the steps to do it, but not being able to really get it done.

Once I dreamed that my bedroom, which is on the 4th floor of an apartment building, had a back door that lead out to a grassy hill. People were picnicking and enjoying the day. I wish that were true.

Today I'm 28

Well, actually it's 12:00 am, so technically yesterday I turned 28. I was telling my friends at dinner that I've already been telling everyone most of this year that I was 28, because I got mixed up. Which is really too bad, since I like the odd years better, and 7s are especially great, so I missed making the most of being 27. (Or at least thinking that I was. If you're following this, congratulations. I know it isn't easy.)

I've always loved birthdays. I hope that I always do. I think it's wonderful to progress--to start another year of life. It's also a great time to celebrate yourself, and pamper yourself.

It isn't quite the same being far from family for a birthday. Luckily I was with family a couple weeks ago, and had a joint birthday party with my aunt. My family tends to extend and re-celebrate birthdays anyway, making them last most of the month. It's a good tradition. Maybe I'll celebrate again at Thanksgiving.

Last Friday I went with a few friends to a dance concert as a birthday outing, and tonight two good friends and I had dinner together at a Moroccan restaurant. I announced that I wanted dessert since it was my birthday. Actually I always want dessert, but it was nice to have a good reason. R did tell the waitress, discreetly, that it was my birthday. So she put a candle in the scoop of ice cream on my piece of cake. But she didn't sing, which I appreciated. It was a nice, subtle touch.

Well, here's to another year. Tonight started out fabulously.